Marriage is made in Heaven...

...but Maintenance is done on Earth

We had a fruitful pre-marriage counseling with Pastor Johnny last night.

For the first time, someone lay it all out for us. A beautiful fabric of marriage takes tons of work to thread. Yes, we all know it but its always good for someone to knock it right into our head. To shake us up so we wouldnt get complacent and take things for granted.

Communication.. or the lack of, is probably the major pitfall in a marriage. And this is an area we have to work on. I looked back and saw how my stubborness, hard headedness prevented me from listening one time too many. All the good sense is up there but when i get emotional, i just blocked it.. refusing to listen to what anyone has to say but what my feelings tell me. And mind you, sometimes your feelings just aint accurate.

I have my scars and i have my fears. I'm reserved, i'm guarded and don't confide easily. Especially on things that's close to my heart. Cos there were times things i said in confidence were turned on me. So try now i must. To let go, to trust, to bond. I hear, but i dont believe. It then dawned on me that sometimes, believing is really seeing. Using your head, can perhaps be wiser than using your heart.

I suppose some couples are just able to get along better, while some takes a longer time to understand each other. I asked him a question last night, and was hurt by the reply. Then i realised if the question was tossed to me, my answer would be the same as his. I had an easy relationship where not much effort had to be pumped in.. where a high level of understanding aint that tough to attain. However, as jo and i had outlined the attributes of a SNAG.. they are a charming lot. Husband material? Well.... Nevertheless, i thank God for it. Though that didnt provide me with much training ground.

So work now i must...

did i mention i'm really scared. I really am.. of it not working.

"you held me tight in your arms and whispered those words.. you waked in the middle of the night and thanked me. For what.. i asked. For loving me.. you said."